# 10 Saying Yes and Meeting the Unexpected in Vietnam
On indecision and taking chances + 4 book recommendations.
After my first novel was published in 2005, I worked with a Dutch producer on a script based on my debut. The film never received funding, but I walked away with an idea that inspires me until this day.
My protagonist was a self-proclaimed coward and spent a lot of time brooding, fretting over choices like a song played on repeat. She was inactive, indecisive, unsure of what she wanted and from whom. Her mind was her home.
Contemplation is a valuable human practice. But contemplation also lacks forward motion and can make terrifically boring scenes. So I had to imagine an alternative for the script.
What if my protagonist did an existential experiment to get herself out of her slump? What if she quit weighing the pros and cons of each small choice and jumped into action instead? What if she stopped wasting her time on maybes and began saying yes?
Her life changed overnight. And so did mine.
I hadn’t even realized how often I declined invitations until I began to accept offers more spontaneously. To see where it would lead me.
Yes, I’ll be your model for a day so you can try out making portraits.
Yes, I’d love to visit your parents in the South of France.
Yes, I’ll be your +1 on your friend’s wedding in Amsterdam.
Yes, I’d like to join your writing group.
Yes, yes, and yes!
I’m not claiming that I took every decision lightly or never said no, but feeling the thrill of saying yes was addictive. I was given many wonderful experiences I would have missed had I taken the time to deliberate each choice.
The problem is: We can always come up with a reason to turn down an offer. The longer we hesitate, the more possible downsides we see, and the less we feel inclined to take a chance.
When we’re traveling, many opportunities will come our way. When you hesitate about saying yes or no, ask yourself:
Do I want to… ?
Can I (afford to)… ?
What’s the worst case scenario if I say yes?
If the first two are affirmative and the last one is something like “I’ll be disappointed” my suggestion is to say yes. Try it a few times and see what happens.
Two unexpected and intriguing evenings in Hội An
Saying yes recently resulted in two unexpected and intriguing evenings in Hội An.
1. The Lune Center for the Performing Arts
A Vietnamese friend, who’s a dance teacher in Paris, returned to Hội An for a swing dance event. Her mentor happened to be in town, and his latest production, Teh Dar, was playing in a local theater. Would I like to go see it with her?
Teh Dar (Going Round) calls itself a bamboo circus show celebrating the rich tapestry of Vietnam's Central Highland culture.
“Is it like Cirque du Soleil?” I asked. Indeed. It would be a mix of acrobatics, dance, music, and theater.
I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to culture. I practiced classical ballet as a child and when I lived in Paris, my neighbor spoilt me with free tickets to the opera. (Saying yes to Pina Bausch is the easiest thing in the world.) But I’m also curious and vividly remembered the fascinating Phare Circus show in Siem Reap, Cambodia.
I arrived alone at the moon-shaped theater in the heart of Hội An’s old town. I parked my bicycle with the octogenarian attendant and waited eagerly for my friend. The venue was packed, tickets nearly sold out. The theater was limited in space, decor, and props, yet the young men and women brought an entire world to life: wild animal hunts, harvests, moonlit romance, death, and reincarnation. I was in awe of the choreography and the performers, how they each took their space on the stage and came together as a group, how they expressed so much through their movements—the strength and skill they had! I was literally sitting at the edge of my seat, enraptured. I was so glad I’d said yes!
For more information and tickets: www.luneproduction.com // +84 845 18 11 88 // reservation@luneproduction.com
2. The NOX Beachclub Hoiana
There was a time when Daniel and I went to nightclubs in Ibiza and enjoyed all the accoutrements. I thought that time was over. Last week, however, we received an invitation from a friend to join him, his wife, and several other expats for a grand opening at a golf resort.
An opening of what? The Asia-Pacific TravelDailyNews site answered my question: “Vietnam’s central coast will become even more vibrant next month with the launch of NOX Beach Club, the region’s largest and most spectacular multi-experiential gastronomy and entertainment venue where guests can dine in style and feel the uplifting spirit of ‘joie de vivre’ – by day or night.”
How could I say no to that?
I rarely stay in luxury hotels. I don’t play golf. I prefer local cuisine and generally avoid Western-style restaurants when in the Southeast. But on occasion, I can be convinced. Especially when it means spending time with friends.
I arrived as an anthropologist, studying the clientele, but soon got carried away by the free flow of wine and cocktails, the giant globe of parmigiana cheese, the oysters, the go go dancers, and the talks with other expats who were equally baffled by the resort’s generosity. The management had apparently decided to offer their goods for free to a group of people who could afford to pay for it, all in the hope that we would return. But would we? The resort was 20 minutes by car from Hội An town.
By the end of the night, I looked up at the massive buildings with 1000+ rooms that mostly accommodated golfers and gamblers. One of the resort’s main attractions is the giant casino. Gambling is illegal for Chinese in China and for Vietnamese in Vietnam and said laws have created an entire tourist industry. The resort would not be short of clientele after all.
Desk Journeys aka Book Recommendations
Four Memoirs by Vietnamese-American Authors
On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong. One of my favorite books ever. The lushness of his prose, his views on humanity, the way he tells his story and his mother’s. How do we heal and rescue one another without forsaking who we are?
Family in Six Tones, by Lan Cao and Harlan Margaret Van Cao. This beautiful book is written as a duet between mother and daughter. It’s about the immigrant experience, cultural differences, and how this plays out in three generations. Although the two voices are very different, they form one cohesive yet fragmented picture.
Owner of a Lonely Heart by Beth Nguyen. The author does an incredible job in explaining the peculiar difficulties and ambiguities of being a refugee in the United States. The loyalty to family and the new nation. One of the most touching chapters is the one in which she explains why she changed her first name.
A Man of Two Faces by Viet Thanh Nguyen. I’m still at the beginning of this one; I find it a slow read, which it not necessarily a negative statement. I’m fascinated by the author’s narrative and his unconventional way of telling it. How the style contributes to the story I have yet to figure out, but I’m confident that the Pulitzer-prize-winning author of The Sympathizer and The Refugees won’t disappoint me.
—> Bonus for writers: I once did a fascinating masterclass with Viet Thanh Nguyen in The American Library in Paris. Viet allowed me to share his advice with you all.
Time to Say Goodbye
Another big yes has set us up for a new adventure in April. Two friends were making plans to escape the heat, which hasn’t arrived yet in Central Vietnam, but has already been unrelenting in Vietnam’s South and is scheduled to come here any day now. They were going to Măng Đen, up in the mountains. Did we want to come?
I must admit: This wasn’t an instant yes. We had doubts and questions about transportation and lodging and work spaces. So I first had to convince my other half, who usually imagines the unknown less rosily than I do, that this was a great opportunity.
We’re all set now, so next time I’ll report from a height of 1,200 meters in the Central Highlands known for absolutely nothing but farms and mountain bliss.
With love,
Claire
P.S. Vietnam’s president Vo Van Thuong has resigned after what’s called “violating Communist Party regulations.” He’s the second president to step down in the country in just over a year. For readers who are interested in more political news on Vietnam, I recommend subscribing to Vietnam Weekly.
That circus sounds wonderful!
Thanks for the video of Teh Dar!!!! And YES to Pina Bausch!!!