This is a joy to read. I enjoyed every word of it - especially the part where you had to swear that you did not murder Daniel’s non-existent ex-wife. (I would love to know the origin of that requirement; there is, no doubt, a good story behind that.)
I was so moved by the image of you lying next to Daniel, febrile and with stomach cramps, deciding that you wanted to marry him. Facing mortality so often makes believers of us.
Thank you for sharing this with us, dear Claire. I wish you and Daniel many, many more years of love and adventure.
In celebration of your years together, here is a little poem by the late W.S. Merwin:
ANNIVERSARY ON THE ISLAND
The long waves glide in through the afternoon
while we watch from the island
from the cool shadow under the trees where the long ridge
Thank you for reading and for yours and W.S. Merwin's lovely words.
There must be more to it, but in the Palazzo Vecchio I was told that it in the past, when divorce wasn't an option, it was so common in Italy that aspiring spouses murdered actual spouses that they included this "I did not kill and was never investigated" oath in the engagement ceremony.
Happy anniversary! And congratulations! A beautiful story, one I can closely relate to. I was anti-marriage when I met my husband (at least anti-marriage to him, afraid that it would seem I wanted an American green card through marrying him). However, I'm glad I changed my mind, although I'm sure we would still be together 32 years later. I don't know if being married changed our relationship, but it definitely made it easier to raise a family. Over the years, our connection kept growing, keeping us together, in a happy relationship. Wishing you guys many more happy, connected, years together!
Thank you, Emese-Réka! And 32 years for the two of you: wonderful! Marriage made things easier for us, too, with Daniel as an American in Europe, but I'm glad it wasn't the reason for our decision.
Thank you for your story, from anti-marriage to marriage. In my case, I met my wife Susan in college and for the first time I felt a strong connection to someone.
But my parents having divorced when I was very young, I was afraid of marriage. So we sort of agreed not to marry, at least putting off the idea while I went far away to graduate school for a year. But that was too much for us and we married the next year—beginning a 58 year journey together.
It’s been a wonderful life together and I sometimes think how my life would have turned out had I not stepped into the same elevator where Susan was standing one long time ago in September … unaware of course that my world was about to change.
58 years! That's beautiful. I don't truly believe in fate. Then again, I'd like to think you would have meant Susan soon after in some other way had you not stepped into that elevator.
Oh Claire, what a beautiful ode to love! And Happy Anniversary! I loved this -- not sappy at all, simply a gorgeous tale of romancing and deciding to marry. Bliss!!
This is a beautiful read. Thank you from taking a break from your regularly scheduled programming to share your story with us.
When my husband of 32 years and I were first exploring dating, he called me up and asked to go out on a particular Friday night. Sure. That was becoming the norm anyway, I thought. But then he added one more request before hanging up the phone. "But this time, dress crazy, ok?" I spent the next week stressed out that my idea of crazy was too much. I LIKE crazy. What if I take it way too far and end up humiliated? Should I tone myself down in hopes of pleasing him? No. I was me, like it or not. I dressed CRAZY by MY standards.
When he showed up at my door, we were dressed nearly identically. My roommate snapped a photo.
Years later, when we were cleaning out and curating all of our boxes of memories so we could hit the road as nomads, I found that photo, smudged and bent. Two crazy kids, both wondering if this might be the one. I showed my husband. He smiled and said that was the night he knew he loved me. I had felt exactly the same.
Just this year, before we hit the road in our truck, owning nothing but what we can carry, I had that photo turned into a funky throw pillow to travel the world with us. Our married life has not always been easy, and we have teetered on the brink a few times, but now we are stronger than ever. And I love that goofy little pillow. 💜
This is a joy to read. I enjoyed every word of it - especially the part where you had to swear that you did not murder Daniel’s non-existent ex-wife. (I would love to know the origin of that requirement; there is, no doubt, a good story behind that.)
I was so moved by the image of you lying next to Daniel, febrile and with stomach cramps, deciding that you wanted to marry him. Facing mortality so often makes believers of us.
Thank you for sharing this with us, dear Claire. I wish you and Daniel many, many more years of love and adventure.
In celebration of your years together, here is a little poem by the late W.S. Merwin:
ANNIVERSARY ON THE ISLAND
The long waves glide in through the afternoon
while we watch from the island
from the cool shadow under the trees where the long ridge
a fold in the skirt of the mountain
runs down to the end of the headland
day after day we wake to the island
the light rises through the drops on the leaves
and we remember like birds where we are
night after night we touch the dark island
that once we set out for
and lie still at last with the island in our arms
hearing the leaves and the breathing shore
there are no years any more
only the one mountain
and on all sides the sea that brought us
Thank you for reading and for yours and W.S. Merwin's lovely words.
There must be more to it, but in the Palazzo Vecchio I was told that it in the past, when divorce wasn't an option, it was so common in Italy that aspiring spouses murdered actual spouses that they included this "I did not kill and was never investigated" oath in the engagement ceremony.
Incredible. As if one who resorted to murdering the previous spouse would admit to it.
That's such a good story!!
Your pre-proposal was the dearest detail. A lovely piece. Thanks for writing and sharing. xo
Thank you, Judith!
Happy anniversary! And congratulations! A beautiful story, one I can closely relate to. I was anti-marriage when I met my husband (at least anti-marriage to him, afraid that it would seem I wanted an American green card through marrying him). However, I'm glad I changed my mind, although I'm sure we would still be together 32 years later. I don't know if being married changed our relationship, but it definitely made it easier to raise a family. Over the years, our connection kept growing, keeping us together, in a happy relationship. Wishing you guys many more happy, connected, years together!
Thank you, Emese-Réka! And 32 years for the two of you: wonderful! Marriage made things easier for us, too, with Daniel as an American in Europe, but I'm glad it wasn't the reason for our decision.
Thank you for your story, from anti-marriage to marriage. In my case, I met my wife Susan in college and for the first time I felt a strong connection to someone.
But my parents having divorced when I was very young, I was afraid of marriage. So we sort of agreed not to marry, at least putting off the idea while I went far away to graduate school for a year. But that was too much for us and we married the next year—beginning a 58 year journey together.
It’s been a wonderful life together and I sometimes think how my life would have turned out had I not stepped into the same elevator where Susan was standing one long time ago in September … unaware of course that my world was about to change.
Yes it does feel like fate. Especially since we later discovered our mothers played together as children in a tiny Texas town.
58 years! That's beautiful. I don't truly believe in fate. Then again, I'd like to think you would have meant Susan soon after in some other way had you not stepped into that elevator.
Great story. Thanks
Oh Claire, what a beautiful ode to love! And Happy Anniversary! I loved this -- not sappy at all, simply a gorgeous tale of romancing and deciding to marry. Bliss!!
This is a beautiful read. Thank you from taking a break from your regularly scheduled programming to share your story with us.
When my husband of 32 years and I were first exploring dating, he called me up and asked to go out on a particular Friday night. Sure. That was becoming the norm anyway, I thought. But then he added one more request before hanging up the phone. "But this time, dress crazy, ok?" I spent the next week stressed out that my idea of crazy was too much. I LIKE crazy. What if I take it way too far and end up humiliated? Should I tone myself down in hopes of pleasing him? No. I was me, like it or not. I dressed CRAZY by MY standards.
When he showed up at my door, we were dressed nearly identically. My roommate snapped a photo.
Years later, when we were cleaning out and curating all of our boxes of memories so we could hit the road as nomads, I found that photo, smudged and bent. Two crazy kids, both wondering if this might be the one. I showed my husband. He smiled and said that was the night he knew he loved me. I had felt exactly the same.
Just this year, before we hit the road in our truck, owning nothing but what we can carry, I had that photo turned into a funky throw pillow to travel the world with us. Our married life has not always been easy, and we have teetered on the brink a few times, but now we are stronger than ever. And I love that goofy little pillow. 💜
Very moving and interesting! Happy anniversary!